Thank you all. I slept for awhile and am feeling better.
Life is just so hard at times and gets to me. I shouldn't let it.
Wish I was stronger. Thank you for the prayers and suggestions.
Hi Ruth Sis'
Isaiah 40:31
Hang in there....
Before Mary passed [9th January 2016]
I wrecked a past inguineal hernia repair, while-making her comfortable, in bed
I was forced to wait 12.5 months, for a surgery to close it up
all the while with one hand 'holding it all in' while I endeavoured to live
ie: ~wash pots, mop floors, push, the vacuum cleaner around
I was then diagnosed with Heart failure [Severe LVSD] and now carry a Medic Alert Card
Mary passed, after 22 months of Metastatic Esophageal cancer and Chemo Treatment
While under anaesthesia (someone) damaged my fingers and thumbs joints and sinews~
took flesh from my right upper jawbone, leaving bone exposed, I thought it might be a 'Wisdom' making an appearance
[Not!]
As I left the hospital for the bus stop (next day) the cooler air 'reported' that I had been raped
That ringing and wetness, reminded me, of those nights I left the Boy's Club to go home
after my butt had been visited by the Club Leader [a Bristol City Councillor ~now, long retired]
I was 10years at that time and did not open-up to others until, I was 40 years and, once again 'looking-up'
I struggled to urinate ~could only manage a trickle,
and, that could last, for up to ten minutes
I now have urinary incontinence, will leak a drop or two under the slightest pressure (resisting the need to sneeze)
On the evening of my release from hospital I felt that there was something climbing up my shin
when I looked I saw a humungous blister below my knee, it looked like a completely-full PILLOW, some three inches by nearly two inches
My most-recent treatment (by the Health Service) now has me seeing it as a Meat Market
with patients being SOLD ~to the lowest bidder God help us ~MENGELE comes to mind (?)
We cannot know God's purpose (for our presence here)
but if God, is LOVE
and we practice to be as Jesus (God) is
then, whether the Bible is true, or not, His will WILL BE DONE in us anyway
God bless
your Bro'
dave