If you could say one thing to your pastor...

Lamb

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If you could say one thing to your pastor what would it be? I mean anonymously. Would you let him know about something that irritates you? Would you praise him?
 

psalms 91

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Pound doing every week, noone is called to sit in a pew every Sunday and do nothing else
 

ImaginaryDay2

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Thank you for graciously taking me in and accepting me. You hardly knew me - both my former and current Pastor
 

NewCreation435

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The church I am currently attending I just started going to a few weeks ago. I don't know that I need to say anything to him right now. I did email him once some thoughts about a passage he talked about but it wasn't a criticism. I was just sharing my thoughts about the passage
 

tango

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If you could say one thing to your pastor what would it be? I mean anonymously. Would you let him know about something that irritates you? Would you praise him?

Right now I don't think there's anything I'd want to say to my pastor that I wouldn't say to him in person.
 

Krissy Cakes

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Right now I don't think there's anything I'd want to say to my pastor that I wouldn't say to him in person.

I agree
 

Josiah

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I think I've said all the positive things....

Nothing negative that needs to be said....
 

tango

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I think I've said all the positive things....

Nothing negative that needs to be said....

I think if there are negative things that need to be said it's still important to have the courage to say them in person so the pastor knows who is complaining and why. If nothing else it makes it clear whether the complaint is coming from one person or several, whether the person bringing the complaint is someone prone to a lot of complaining or someone who is normally very supportive, and also whether the concern is likely to be a matter of personal preference or theological concern.

If you truly believe that you can't bring a valid complaint to the pastor without hiding behind anonymity, maybe it's time to find a different church.
 

Josiah

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I think if there are negative things that need to be said it's still important to have the courage to say them in person so the pastor knows who is complaining and why. If nothing else it makes it clear whether the complaint is coming from one person or several, whether the person bringing the complaint is someone prone to a lot of complaining or someone who is normally very supportive, and also whether the concern is likely to be a matter of personal preference or theological concern.

If you truly believe that you can't bring a valid complaint to the pastor without hiding behind anonymity, maybe it's time to find a different church.


My "negative" thing would be: Is it necessary to tell us when to stand or sit? NOT THAT IT REALLY MATTERS. I would never even consider leaving the church and my church family over that; would you? I don't even consider it worthy to mention.
 

tango

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My "negative" thing would be: Is it necessary to tell us when to stand or sit? NOT THAT IT REALLY MATTERS. I would never even consider leaving the church and my church family over that; would you? I don't even consider it worthy to mention.

My point was that if it bothers you enough to raise it with the pastor you should feel comfortable with the pastor knowing it was you who raised it as a concern. To sit down with the pastor and talk over a concern, whether it be a major theological issue or a minor irritation, can be a productive thing. An anonymous complaint looks like little more than backbiting.

If you don't consider it worth mentioning you can always let it be, my point about leaving the church related to the sense that a complaint had to be made anonymously. If you really think that your pastor would react badly enough to you raising a concern that you feel the need to do it anonymously I'd say that was a good reason to consider finding another church, wouldn't you?
 

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Thank you for your faithful desire to glorify God. I appreciate you.
 

TangledWeb

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If I could say one thing to my pastor I don't know if I could say something to him in a negative way because I would not want to hurt his feelings unless a larger group of the congregation was there to complain as well. There is safety in numbers? I would like it if he could slow down with some of the things he says because he is a fast talker and I am a slow listener.
 

Josiah

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Don't forget OCTOBER is "Pastor Appreciation Month" in the USA..... DO something, SAY something to your pastor - individually and as a congregation - that expresses your appreciation.
 

Josiah

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I don't know if I could say something to him in a negative way because I would not want to hurt his feelings unless a larger group of the congregation was there to complain as well. There is safety in numbers?


Saying NEGATIVE - CORRECTIVE things to a pastor...


The Bible spells out exactly how to proceed when there is hurt, offense, sin.... when something "negative" needs to be said. See Matthew 18:15-22. But note that all this embraces an ATTITUDE (often the HOW and WHY of our words matter more the words themselves). We need to come with HUMILITY.... we need to come with LOVE ("speak the truth but ALWAYS with love" "treat one another as you yourselves desire to be treated"). We need to come with a deep, genuine awareness that the fault may be on MY part, not his. We need to come with the ONLY hope being reconciliation, forgiveness, restoration (not to "rub his nose in it"). ATTITUDE is critical.


We are to come PRIVATELY. No, there is not "safety in numbers." Jesus STRESSES this is to be private, one-on-one. Make an appointment for a PRIVATE conservation. Let him know in advance that you have a concern that involves him, so that he won't be broadsided. Don't tell your wife. Don't tell ANY other church member or any other soul on Earth. Meet with HIM. Check your ATTITUDE. Check your FACTS (because you may have your facts all wrong). Speak with LOVE. Share your perspective - but with the right attitude.

You will get MUCH further with the biblical approach than by publicly spreading gossip and negativity - and organizing an army against him.
 

tango

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I'm not sure that Matthew 18 is relevant in a majority of situations because it covers what to do if a brother sins against you. What TangledWeb is talking about is something that seems more like a request than a correction.

I agree entirely that any approach needs to be done in love and humility. If the pastor talks too fast I'd have thought it's an obvious opportunity to express how much the sermons are appreciated and that the reason for asking him to speak more slowly is to enable the listener to take in more of the sermon. Immediately the focus shifts from "you are too..." which implies fault on the other, to "I'd really like to catch more of what you're saying" which is focusing on how to work together to get more from the situation.

I'd much rather be in a position to ask a pastor to slow down because I don't want to miss the points he is making, than having to figure out how to say his sermons are tedious and uninspiring.
 

tango

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Don't forget OCTOBER is "Pastor Appreciation Month" in the USA..... DO something, SAY something to your pastor - individually and as a congregation - that expresses your appreciation.

But do it at a time that suits you rather than at a time that someone else decided is a suitable time. That way it makes it more obvious it's sincere rather than because of what it says on a calendar.

Earlier this year I gave our pastor a small gift. It was personal to him and a couple of things I know he likes, without being expensive enough that it would cause any embarrassment. I was going to give it to him as a Christmas gift but didn't want to create any sense that he needed to reciprocate the gift, so gave it to him during January. Something given during a time designated for giving always seems forced to me. I like it to be clear something is from the heart rather than from the calendar or a sense of obligation.
 

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The pastor at the last Catholic church said the mass in Latin. I would ask him if he could pleeeeeaaaasssseee speak English so it wouldn't be so boring listening to something I don't understand.
 

Romanos

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The pastor at the last Catholic church said the mass in Latin. I would ask him if he could pleeeeeaaaasssseee speak English so it wouldn't be so boring listening to something I don't understand.

What made you go then?
 
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