Why are Christians so old-fashioned about sex?

Lamb

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Why are Christians so old-fashioned about sex? I saw this on a list of questions posed to Christians and hey, since so many members are up in arms about some of the topics now, maybe a little sex here will give you a thrill? Keep the discussion clean please.
 

NewCreation435

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Old fashioned is another word for insisting that people be married first? Maybe because that's in the Bible.
 

Lamb

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Old fashioned is another word for insisting that people be married first? Maybe because that's in the Bible.

I'm not sure the full intent of who originally asked it. But I could see where it could possibly mean getting married first. I'm not sure it was meant to stir up the gay thing or not to tell you the truth. Answers weren't given on the page I looked at.
 

psalms 91

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To me the bible is clear and I think many Christians avoid it like the plaugue because it is so black and white and so many are guilty of sexual sin in one way or another
 

Josiah

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Why are Christians so old-fashioned about sex? I saw this on a list of questions posed to Christians and hey, since so many members are up in arms about some of the topics now, maybe a little sex here will give you a thrill? Keep the discussion clean please.



[CAUTION: Lots of sexism and generalities here, lol]



Some thoughts (on a topic we all like to think about a lot....)


1. TWO aspects. I've read that while the "sex drive" is nearly universal, there are only two species that have sex for fun (one is the dolphin, you know the other). But I think there has ALWAYS been among us a whole other dimension to sex: one of bonding, intimacy, joining... important not only because our nature but because this act is how we procreate, and human infants are EXTREMELY dependent (and for a long time) suggesting that unlike nearly every other species, Mom has a tough time doing this alone - there needs to be a protector, a provider, a helper. And that's where Dad comes in (and to a lesser extent, the whole community). Thus, there are TWO issues here.


2. Changes in Morality and Consequences. There has always been a tendency to separate these (I think usually by us guys - who IMO tend to focus more on the act whereas females focus more on the possible consequence). There is NOTHING new about pre-marital or extra-marital sex, it's been with us forever. Often with the eager participation (or at least consent) of the female, sometimes not. Christians, especially, like to speak of this as if it was invented by liberal pagans in the 1960's..... nope, people have been rolling in the hay for a long time. For some, a keen sense of the bonding/joining/committing aspect of sex kept them moral.... for some, the fear of an unwanted child kept them (creatively) avoiding intercourse anyway.... but sex happened. What happened in the "Sex Revolution" was not so much a change in morality as a change in the consequences: the Sexual Revolution was empowered exclusively by "The Pill" - made legal in the USA in 1960 and very widely employed by the mid 1960's. Sex - Without the Kid. Now, couples could focus on the fun..... and outside of marriage anyway, ignore the other aspect of sex (sometimes, forget about it). In 1973, abortion-on-demand cleaned up the issue of when "The Pill" didn't work, solidifying the Sexual Revolution. Especially for the guys.... Even half a century later, some girls (perhaps it's in their DNA?) still cling to the bonding/intimacy/committing/love part of this. A lot of guys don't, not even in marriage (a LOT of men never become men in terms of sex, just boys with equipment that works). For guys, the commitment thing MAY come when the baby does... but it's not really associated with sex. The Pill (and now a host of other birth control methods) seems to have largely destroyed it (although perhaps it was never dominate). Boys just want to have fun. Girls, too. Kind of like dolphins. Our technology makes it possible (and abortion for when our technology lets us down).


3. Society Gave up. I was a virgin (well, until my wedding night, wink/wink) Like most guys, opportunities were there, almost constantly. I was first STRONGLY propositioned by a girl one year older than me when I was 13 (remember it well). There are plenty of opportunities.... birth control is widely employed and available... abortions are free and easy as a back up.... And any healthy, heterosexual is going to have every cell in his body shout "GREAT!!!!" That's when other factors kick in (or not). Fortunately, my parents (which included by school) and my church pretty much hammered into me that sex wasn't JUST about having a really good time. There was another deeper, more powerful, more meaningful aspect..... And that ignoring, forgetting, circumventing that just makes us... um.... dolphins. That sex is about giving and sharing, not using and taking. That sex is also about intimacy/uniting/commiting, and not just about scratching an inch. Enough of that had been drilled into this young teen that... in spite of every cell in my being shouting "ABSOLUTELY" at a deafening level, out of my mouth came essentially a "no" (with my whole being retorting "WHAT DID YOU SAY, YOU IDIOT!!!). Fun is fun... but it's not the whole enchilada.... I was EVEN taught that being a MAN (rather than a boy with better toys) is that a MAN controls body, his drives, his emotions, his impulses. I think schools and parents and churches don't talk about this.... partly because they are convinced the human race has devolved into dolphins on this point (and that guys are mindless idiots that can't help themselves), but also because THEY believe it's just fun (the Sexual Revolution changed society); why teach kids what they don't believe and didn't employ (just makes the teachers/parents/preachers feel guilty - at most). Our society has a tiny bit of hope left for the girls... but that's rapidly disappearing.


I could say more.... I"ve probably said too much.



- Josiah




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Lamb

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Does the feminist movement push too much since they demand their right to sex, free birth control, the right to an abortion?
 

Josiah

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Does the feminist movement push too much since they demand their right to sex, free birth control, the right to an abortion?

It just means a lot of the gals have caught up to the guys in this whole Sexual Revolution..... Most of the time, I see no difference. See post 5
 

Lamb

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It just means a lot of the gals have caught up to the guys in this whole Sexual Revolution..... Most of the time, I see no difference. See post 5

I did see your post which is why I asked about the feminists. Personally I think women have been misled and are encouraging other women to follow them down their sordid path.
 

Josiah

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I did see your post which is why I asked about the feminists. Personally I think women have been misled and are encouraging other women to follow them down their sordid path.

Guys have lowered the girls to our own new level..... maybe that's why the girls have stopped complaining about us on this point. The issue of the meaning and morality has been forgotten... the new issue of performance: how good are you at it, how fun do you make it.

In those long (ever-so-long) years been puberty and marriage, I got ridicule and assumptions of homosexuality, but mostly I got "but how will you learn how to do it good?" Ah.... the meaning is gone. Morality isn't even on the radar. ONE thing has replaced all of it: Fun (and with that, performance). Funny.... because one of the GREAT things about those early days of marriage is..... well, never mind (this is a family website).


SORRY.... just saying.....



- Josiah




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Lamb

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Guys have lowered the girls to our own new level..... maybe that's why the girls have stopped complaining about us on this point. The issue of the meaning and morality has been forgotten... the new issue of performance: how good are you at it, how fun do you make it.

Good point. Let's blame the guys instead of the girls ;)
 

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They just let the devil in in the sixties w the sexual revolution. I remember when I was 18 or so couples started living together instead of marrying and first you were a bit shocked, but those were unbelievers and you got used to it and now it has come in the church. Go visit a Dutch dating site. You can immediately see what their ideas are, on politics, sex before marriage etc. I think from how many were there? 50 or so, on a christian dating site, I think there were 2 or 3 who didnt want sex before marriage and they were always pastors or leaders in a church.
 

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They just let the devil in in the sixties w the sexual revolution. I remember when I was 18 or so couples started living together instead of marrying and first you were a bit shocked, but those were unbelievers and you got used to it and now it has come in the church. Go visit a Dutch dating site. You can immediately see what their ideas are, on politics, sex before marriage etc. I think from how many were there? 50 or so, on a christian dating site, I think there were 2 or 3 who didnt want sex before marriage and they were always pastors or leaders in a church.

I forgot about the 60s being the sexual revolution!

Isn't it rare to hear about people wanting to remain virgins nowadays? I mean it's expected that they have sex in college and that's so sad that society has put that kind of pressure on people.
 

Josiah

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Good point. Let's blame the guys instead of the girls ;)


Well, I started post 4 the way I did.....


I DO think guys (generally) were more eager to buy into the Sexual Revolution.... but I see very little distinction now.

According to my parents, when THEY were growing up, there was still a bit of the old Greek/Roman thing of "Guys are Animals Who Want Sex" and "Girls are the Sensible Ones Who At Least SAY "No"." A HUGE generality, I'm sure.... but if that was true 30 years ago (and I wonder....), it ain't now. Generalities admitted.



I mean it's expected that they have sex in college and that's so sad that society has put that kind of pressure on people.


WHAT? I was considered a FREAK when I was a virgin at 16. A Christian... okay. Homeschooled.... well. A virgin? He's GOT to be gay or ugly (and just can't get any). And I got that not just from the guys.



Sorry.... just saying....



- Josiah



.
 
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Lamb

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WHAT? I was considered a FREAK when I was a virgin at 16. A Christian... okay. Homeschooled.... well. A virgin? He's GOT to be gay or ugly (and just can't get any). And I got that not just from the guys.
.

As a girl growing up in the 80s, the ones who had sex in high school were the ones with bad names given to them so it was easier for girls to remain a virgin. I guess I never thought about the guys and just assumed most of my male friends were like me in thinking.
 

Imalive

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As a girl growing up in the 80s, the ones who had sex in high school were the ones with bad names given to them so it was easier for girls to remain a virgin. I guess I never thought about the guys and just assumed most of my male friends were like me in thinking.

Yes. I wish I had parents who warned me, cause I had no idea and thought guys were just as dumb and naive and childish. It's a miracle I never got raped. My parents would just let me go bike alone in the middle of the night, go to Italy w friends, her mom called my mom, theres Italian guys going after em. Oh I trust my daughter, says my mum. Great mom, but you cant trust these guys. Aaaaargh. I started warning my kids w 8. Never go watch anything on YouTube that says sex. Never watch anything w other kids who think its funny. Do not watch porn. Watch out. It's insane, but you have to. Some 8 y olds told me they had seen that filth already.
 

MennoSota

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The Bible tells us that when you have sex you become one with that person. In essence it is your marriage before God. This means God holds sexual activity as a sacred form of worship.
My question is:
Why do so many people view sex as merely a physical act of pleasure for the mind? Why do we separate the spiritual from the physical?
My thought is that we view it from a pornographic perspective and thus we take a glorious and holy relationship and reduce it to mere physiology. It cheapens and degrades sex.
The male and female couple that worships God as one brings glory to God in their sexual union. They are free to explore and rejoice without limits as they honor their Creator. It is joyous and blessed.
The Puritans understood this. Their marriages were filled with worship as they were blessed with children from their sexual behavior. God was glorified and couples were happy.
I suggest that we are the ones who are to be pointed at and viewed as regressive in our sexual behavior.
 

Lamb

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I have heard this said but don't know if there is a verse to back it up...

God doesn't bless a union that is outside of marriage.
 

Imalive

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The Bible tells us that when you have sex you become one with that person. In essence it is your marriage before God. This means God holds sexual activity as a sacred form of worship.
My question is:
Why do so many people view sex as merely a physical act of pleasure for the mind? Why do we separate the spiritual from the physical?
My thought is that we view it from a pornographic perspective and thus we take a glorious and holy relationship and reduce it to mere physiology. It cheapens and degrades sex.
The male and female couple that worships God as one brings glory to God in their sexual union. They are free to explore and rejoice without limits as they honor their Creator. It is joyous and blessed.
The Puritans understood this. Their marriages were filled with worship as they were blessed with children from their sexual behavior. God was glorified and couples were happy.
I suggest that we are the ones who are to be pointed at and viewed as regressive in our sexual behavior.

I talked to one guy who was addicted to porn. He told me he saw it when he was 12. He went to a video rent place and a filthy old guy told him to watch a movie which was disgusting and traumatic and now hes still bound because of that demon that could get in then. Actually its a form of child abuse. Ppl can be made pure again when they get set free, but they have to want it and a church has to do it.
 

Andrew

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My grandparents slept in different rooms.... hardcore Catholics

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Lamb

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My grandparents slept in different rooms.... hardcore Catholics

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There are actually some older Catholics who believe that sex is only for procreating.
 
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