Why I Gave Up

ValleyGal · Dec 4, 2017

I decided I do not want to put up a Christmas tree anymore. Yes, I still want to celebrate Christmas! After all, as the song goes, "Christmas is about the cross" and that is where my faith is. Here's the thing, though. Christmas trees to me are synonymous with gift-giving. And heaven knows over the years I have become a pretty good gift-giver, for the most part. Till now, I gave gifts based on commercialism, based on what the person wants, based on the idea that we give as a symbol of the gifts the wisemen brought from afar to present to him. I have always loved to decorate the tree, put up other fun decorations, make a great big meal of stuffed turkey breast roasted atop more stuffing and all the trimmings.

Last year there was no Christmas spirit. I was drowning in the wake of a verbal separation and still living under the same roof. I was broken, deeply hurt, torn; I was a mess, and I was still recovering from the heavy weight of full time school as well as full time work. I was the living embodiment of exhaustion.

So when I finally got my act together and prepared for Christmas, I decided no tree. I was not in the festive mood. In fact, there were no decorations at all except my very plain and simple Willow nativity figurines. It was on the writing table, where there was room for the gifts to go under the table. And it was there that I realized exactly how broken I was, placing gifts at the base of the nativity, even a gift to my husband, who would be moving out at the end of the month. It was there I realized that gifts - not just the ones under the tree, but the ones I give all year long, and not just tangible gifts, but the gift of self - those are not given to the recipient. They are a gift given to the Lord Jesus, though he is not the recipient. It reminded me of the verse that says to show hospitality to the stranger because we may actually be entertaining angels. God knows what we give and the heart with which we give.

It was under that table that I learned a very valuable lesson about giving. So this year, and every year from now on, I give up the tree and place my gifts at the nativity, as a symbol of the true recipient...I give as though I am giving to Jesus himself. I give not just a tangible gift, but I give of my self, my heart, a little of my spirit. And if it happens to be broken, that's okay because I can give that part to Jesus and he will take good care of it for me.

I give up the Christmas tree!

MoreCoffee · Dec 4, 2017

ValleyGal said:
I decided I do not want to put up a Christmas tree anymore. Yes, I still want to celebrate Christmas! After all, as the song goes, "Christmas is about the cross" and that is where my faith is. Here's the thing, though. Christmas trees to me are synonymous with gift-giving. And heaven knows over the years I have become a pretty good gift-giver, for the most part. Till now, I gave gifts based on commercialism, based on what the person wants, based on the idea that we give as a symbol of the gifts the wisemen brought from afar to present to him. I have always loved to decorate the tree, put up other fun decorations, make a great big meal of stuffed turkey breast roasted atop more stuffing and all the trimmings.

Last year there was no Christmas spirit. I was drowning in the wake of a verbal separation and still living under the same roof. I was broken, deeply hurt, torn; I was a mess, and I was still recovering from the heavy weight of full time school as well as full time work. I was the living embodiment of exhaustion.

So when I finally got my act together and prepared for Christmas, I decided no tree. I was not in the festive mood. In fact, there were no decorations at all except my very plain and simple Willow nativity figurines. It was on the writing table, where there was room for the gifts to go under the table. And it was there that I realized exactly how broken I was, placing gifts at the base of the nativity, even a gift to my husband, who would be moving out at the end of the month. It was there I realized that gifts - not just the ones under the tree, but the ones I give all year long, and not just tangible gifts, but the gift of self - those are not given to the recipient. They are a gift given to the Lord Jesus, though he is not the recipient. It reminded me of the verse that says to show hospitality to the stranger because we may actually be entertaining angels. God knows what we give and the heart with which we give.

It was under that table that I learned a very valuable lesson about giving. So this year, and every year from now on, I give up the tree and place my gifts at the nativity, as a symbol of the true recipient...I give as though I am giving to Jesus himself. I give not just a tangible gift, but I give of my self, my heart, a little of my spirit. And if it happens to be broken, that's okay because I can give that part to Jesus and he will take good care of it for me.

I give up the Christmas tree!

Get an electric Christmas tree , one of the optical fibre LED based ones - they are inexpensive and pretty and they don't need any significant effort to set up and decorate.

PS: on a serious note the gifts given at Christmas time are intended to be gifts of grace from one human being to another; here is where wisdom comes to the fore, giving grace - especially in an equal exchange between people who have reasons to love one another - means both giving one's self and receiving another who also wants to give the same grace. A material gift may be a symbol of that self giving.

Lamb · Dec 4, 2017

ValleyGal said:
I give as though I am giving to Jesus himself.

I like this statement. We are all created in God's image so that when we give to others we are in a manner giving to God

~Jo~ · Dec 4, 2017

I totally agree with you valley girl. My love of Christmas and the tree died years ago and again this year no tree. I used to love decorating the tree but not anymore and the older I get the less I want to. I don't even really want to buy pressies this year either as money is tight now I don't work. I do still put up the pretty lights and that's it I think for this year.. I wish you much love and joy over your Christmas and may you have a blessed New year..

Imalive · Dec 4, 2017

MoreCoffee said:
Get an electric Christmas tree , one of the optical fibre LED based ones - they are inexpensive and pretty and they don't need any significant effort to set up and decorate.

PS: on a serious note the gifts given at Christmas time are intended to be gifts of grace from one human being to another; here is where wisdom comes to the fore, giving grace - especially in an equal exchange between people who have reasons to love one another - means both giving one's self and receiving another who also wants to give the same grace. A material gift may be a symbol of that self giving.

Oh that's a good idea. I saw my sisters tree already falling out and then I remembered the mess such a thing makes and how I'm too lazy to clean it up and then in march or april my brother throws it away.

Imalive · Dec 4, 2017

Nobody gets Christmas gifts here. Sinterklaas gives presents. With Christmas you get nothing.

Albion · Dec 4, 2017

I no longer walk through tree farms looking to cut down the perfect 7 foot tree, etc., but I absolutely agree that putting up a table-top artificial tree that has the lights already installed goes a long way towards keeping the Christmas spirit alive--and with very little labor, expense, or clean-up. Really. And you can still add a few ornaments if you like doing that. I change the color pattern each year, that's all.. Its fun.

tango · Dec 4, 2017

I must admit I often tire of the whole gift-giving thing. As far as possible I avoid exchanging gifts other than token or funny gifts with a low price cap. It often seems to feel very awkward because invariably someone buys a gift that is clearly much more expensive than they receive, or someone gives an unexpected gift and it feels awkward not having something to reciprocate, or similar.

I remember one friend in particular where year after year it seemed roles would reverse. One year I got him something quite nice, and he got me something that was a bit of fun but obviously marketed more as a stocking-filler than a gift in and of itself. The next year I figured he was more into token presents so got him a token gift, and he got me something much nicer. For the next few years it was like we took turns exchanging a cheap gift for a nice gift. As it turned out life happened and one year I didn't see him until June, so we ended up not exchanging gifts any more.

In many ways I prefer the "I saw this and thought of you" gift rather than the increasingly senseless running around in December desperately trying to fill a shopping list because it has been decided we must buy a gift for each and every one of the 56 people on the list. So if anybody sees a gold brick and thinks of me, PM me and I'll let you know where to send it

ValleyGal · Dec 4, 2017

I think some of the commercialism is gone for me as well now. When you make it about the nativity, and about giving of self more than "stuff" it becomes more meaningful. This year, I got my son a lot of "stuff" for when he moves out on his own. Other than that, gifts are more experiential this year. "Stuff" doesn't make life rich. Living makes it rich.

NewCreation435 · Dec 4, 2017

ValleyGal said:
I decided I do not want to put up a Christmas tree anymore. Yes, I still want to celebrate Christmas! After all, as the song goes, "Christmas is about the cross" and that is where my faith is. Here's the thing, though. Christmas trees to me are synonymous with gift-giving. And heaven knows over the years I have become a pretty good gift-giver, for the most part. Till now, I gave gifts based on commercialism, based on what the person wants, based on the idea that we give as a symbol of the gifts the wisemen brought from afar to present to him. I have always loved to decorate the tree, put up other fun decorations, make a great big meal of stuffed turkey breast roasted atop more stuffing and all the trimmings.

Last year there was no Christmas spirit. I was drowning in the wake of a verbal separation and still living under the same roof. I was broken, deeply hurt, torn; I was a mess, and I was still recovering from the heavy weight of full time school as well as full time work. I was the living embodiment of exhaustion.

So when I finally got my act together and prepared for Christmas, I decided no tree. I was not in the festive mood. In fact, there were no decorations at all except my very plain and simple Willow nativity figurines. It was on the writing table, where there was room for the gifts to go under the table. And it was there that I realized exactly how broken I was, placing gifts at the base of the nativity, even a gift to my husband, who would be moving out at the end of the month. It was there I realized that gifts - not just the ones under the tree, but the ones I give all year long, and not just tangible gifts, but the gift of self - those are not given to the recipient. They are a gift given to the Lord Jesus, though he is not the recipient. It reminded me of the verse that says to show hospitality to the stranger because we may actually be entertaining angels. God knows what we give and the heart with which we give.

It was under that table that I learned a very valuable lesson about giving. So this year, and every year from now on, I give up the tree and place my gifts at the nativity, as a symbol of the true recipient...I give as though I am giving to Jesus himself. I give not just a tangible gift, but I give of my self, my heart, a little of my spirit. And if it happens to be broken, that's okay because I can give that part to Jesus and he will take good care of it for me.

I give up the Christmas tree!

I wanted to do the same thing this year and told my wife this, but she talked me into putting it up. We use to go all out for Christmas with lights and everything, but the tree is it this year.

Andrew · Dec 4, 2017

Get a Charlie Brown Christmas tree, inexpensive and easy to set up

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hotrhymez · Dec 5, 2017

Christmas was more fun when I was a kid. Nowadays we still decorate and put up a tree, etc but we dont decorate as much because its a lot of work. I dont really buy anyone presents because I dont know what to get anyone, and they dont want gifts anyway so i guess it works out.

ValleyGal · Dec 5, 2017

Hotrymez, I wonder if you had young children around, would you regain your excitement and desire to celebrate Christmas?

I don't have any young children, but if my son decides to marry and have children, I will absolutely put up a Christmas tree for them and decorate and have all kinds of Christmas music and foods.

tango · Dec 6, 2017

ValleyGal said:
Hotrymez, I wonder if you had young children around, would you regain your excitement and desire to celebrate Christmas?

I don't have any young children, but if my son decides to marry and have children, I will absolutely put up a Christmas tree for them and decorate and have all kinds of Christmas music and foods.

If I had small children around I'd probably be a lot more inclined to make more of an effort for them. Somehow the magic of Christmas loses much of its sparkle when you're in your 40s, when it's unlikely any children will enjoy your efforts, and when every single ornament hauled down out of the attic and unwrapped merely means another ornament to wrap up again and haul back into the attic in a couple of weeks. My wife likes to decorate, so I just leave her to get on with it.

Truth be told if Christmas was a time for getting together with extended family with no children present I'd probably make more effort but our family is small and far-flung, so that's not likely to happen either. It often seems to me that the media's role is essentially to plug the concept of the "perfect Christmas" which is utterly unattainable, set people up for disappointment, then suggest that if only they had paid through the nose for this or that extra item it would all have worked out just fine. Needless to say there's nothing that makes all the cleaning up go away...

Stravinsk · Dec 6, 2017

ValleyGal said:
Hotrymez, I wonder if you had young children around, would you regain your excitement and desire to celebrate Christmas?

I don't have any young children, but if my son decides to marry and have children, I will absolutely put up a Christmas tree for them and decorate and have all kinds of Christmas music and foods.

No one asked or wondered, but Stravinsk feels the need to answer anyway

If I had young children around (as in, they were my own), I would do some things differently than my folks. I wouldn't lie to them, for starters, about Santa and that stuff. Christmas is a time people associate with Yeshua and His birth, but also all the other things like trees, ornaments, gift exchange etc. Making up or encouraging fantasy stories about a fat man and his elves flying around the world and coming down chimney's to fill stockings may be fun in parents eyes, but no child takes the truth of it in stride when they find out, they do not appreciate being lied to and it also sets up a poor example of dishonesty that their parents hold them to. "So my hypocritical parents can feed me fairy stories but I'm expected to tell the truth" is what they are likely to think at some point. Being as the lies are associated with the time of year and the religious aspect, it's not uncommon for them to also question the existence of Yeshua on this basis alone.

I would tell them as much truth as I think they could understand, and explain to them that if they wanted to "go along to get along" and follow the crowd when they got older, that would be their choice. It may seem like "baah humbug" to other parents, but if I had children, I would rather just be honest with them and upfront rather than suffer their blame, disappointment and possible confusion later because it was "fun" or "everyone else was doing it".

Albion · Dec 6, 2017

I do appreciate your point, tango, and dont deny the truth in it. But still, I really think that doing NOTHING confirms the absence of the feeling you are talking about and deepens it. FWIW, I think you would do yourself a favor by drastically downsizing your decorations, etc. in the way you indicated but without cutting everything out. Just find simpler and cheaper things to use. Or, if your wife still carries on in the old way, play along to some degree.

Stravinsk · Dec 6, 2017

Albion said:
I do appreciate your point, tango, and dont deny the truth in it. But still, I really think that doing NOTHING confirms the absence of the feeling you are talking about and deepens it. FWIW, I think you would do yourself a favor by drastically downsizing your decorations, etc. in the way you indicated but without cutting everything out. Just find simpler and cheaper things to use.

Where did Christ ever command or even suggest celebrating His birth? Especially celebrating it at the Winter solstice and the "birth of longer sun periods" in the northern regions?

The practice and time of year associates Christ with the "Sun God worship" disbelievers are always accusing Christianity of being (and with some justification if by means of practice rather than Scriptural evidence from the Gospels).

tango · Dec 6, 2017

Albion said:
I do appreciate your point, tango, and dont deny the truth in it. But still, I really think that doing NOTHING confirms the absence of the feeling you are talking about and deepens it. FWIW, I think you would do yourself a favor by drastically downsizing your decorations, etc. in the way you indicated but without cutting everything out. Just find simpler and cheaper things to use. Or, if your wife still carries on in the old way, play along to some degree.

I tolerate her decorating but really don't care much for it. If it were down to me I'd have a few decorations, probably the sort of thing I'd either make or recycle every year. It's easy to find cheap decorations at the local thrift store, and then at the end of the season a real tree can go in the fire and the decorations can go back to the thrift store.

I remember in my pre-teen years (I guess I'd have been maybe 10 or 11) being really pleased when I figured out the geometry of making stars and not having to have all the points the same length. I constructed a star I was really pleased with, so drew it on gold card, cut it out and then scored and folded it, and used glue and glitter to make it sparkle. My parents put it on top of the tree for years. I wouldn't be surprised if my dad still has it somewhere.

Imalive · Dec 6, 2017

Stravinsk said:
Where did Christ ever command or even suggest celebrating His birth? Especially celebrating it at the Winter solstice and the "birth of longer sun periods" in the northern regions?

The practice and time of year associates Christ with the "Sun God worship" disbelievers are always accusing Christianity of being (and with some justification if by means of practice rather than Scriptural evidence from the Gospels).

Yes but a fun thing I once read is that w Hannukah thats at the same time, if you count 9 month back the Light came in the world, cause Mary conceived Jesus that time.

Imalive · Dec 6, 2017

Stravinsk said:
No one asked or wondered, but Stravinsk feels the need to answer anyway

If I had young children around (as in, they were my own), I would do some things differently than my folks. I wouldn't lie to them, for starters, about Santa and that stuff. Christmas is a time people associate with Yeshua and His birth, but also all the other things like trees, ornaments, gift exchange etc. Making up or encouraging fantasy stories about a fat man and his elves flying around the world and coming down chimney's to fill stockings may be fun in parents eyes, but no child takes the truth of it in stride when they find out, they do not appreciate being lied to and it also sets up a poor example of dishonesty that their parents hold them to. "So my hypocritical parents can feed me fairy stories but I'm expected to tell the truth" is what they are likely to think at some point. Being as the lies are associated with the time of year and the religious aspect, it's not uncommon for them to also question the existence of Yeshua on this basis alone.

I would tell them as much truth as I think they could understand, and explain to them that if they wanted to "go along to get along" and follow the crowd when they got older, that would be their choice. It may seem like "baah humbug" to other parents, but if I had children, I would rather just be honest with them and upfront rather than suffer their blame, disappointment and possible confusion later because it was "fun" or "everyone else was doing it".

Glad we don't have that w Christmas in Holland. We have another Santa 5 december who has nothing to do w Christmas but just gives toys. Thats fun cause my kids get a bunch of toys from their aunt and we have a nice family party, but I never told em he was real, which does give problems at school LOL and w my parents. The eldest is happy I didnt lie to him, but he told other kids he was fake and thats not appreciated by the parents. Oh lol we once went to the kids farm and santa was there and the youngest was 3 and with his loud yell voice he yelled: thats just a dressed up guy!!! Oh and the eldest asked my parents why they were so evil to lie to me as a kid. They did not really appreciate that. All that effort to give your kids fun stuff. LOL.

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