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    Matters Archive - Thread: Our Posting at CH

    1. #1
      Josiah's Avatar
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      Question Our Posting at CH

      Quote Originally Posted by Lammchen


      Flaming is defined as a hostile online interaction that involves insults or simply stated a flame attacks someone verbally.


      At Christianity Haven we have the following in our RULES:
      Luke 6:31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
      This is a Christian site and members are expected to act with respect toward others.
      Flaming or personal attacks will not be tolerated.

      It can be very tempting to take a jab at someone online you cannot see and probably will never see face to face. Sometimes we have a manner of speaking that we are not aware that it doesn't come through in the same way when online as in person.



      Here are examples, taken from posts here at CH



      Example 1
      You do not know enough of the bible to comprehend it but that is because you have not yet been born again of the Spirit.


      The above is a flame because it suggests 1) that the person being spoken to is ignorant and 2) that the person is not a true Christian. There is no suggestion to offer as a replacement since the entire post is aimed to slam the other person.



      Example 2
      And that's another post over his head!

      The above is a flame because it implies that the member cannot comprehend and is condescending. There is no suggestion except to not disrespect others like this, for it adds nothing to the conversation.



      Example 3
      If you knew how to use words better then the rest of us would understand you, but you choose to go the path like the rest of your group and just make things up.


      The above example is a flame because it implies the member is stupid and then also flames the group that the person belongs to and continues the flame by stating the member makes things up. A suggestion for responding could be, "I'm not sure I understand your point. Could you elaborate more and perhaps back it up with scripture (or data)?"



      Example 4
      I know my rights. I shouldn't be censored by a bunch of communist fascists who want to control my thoughts.


      The above example is a flame because it is calling names but also this type of post doesn't add to the conversation and any issues with staff members should be taken to the Member Admin Center. The suggestion for this is to not publicly mouth off but stick to the topic. Complaints about the site or staff should always be done in the Member Admin Center where staff and the owner will listen and try to work through issues.



      Not all flames are done in open threads. Some are done through the Reputation system and Visitor's Messages and are still open to staff action.


      Ideas and opinions can be refuted in the threads but personal, insulting comments directed at members should be avoided because that simply adds no benefit to the threads.



      .


      1. I LOVE this site.... for many reasons. But one of them is that this is a very welcoming place. Rules are very few and intuitive. Management is very tolerant and "light handed." There is a lot of freedom and liberty here.....


      2. BUT there's a flip side to this: There is a lot of personal responsibility here: We are expected to (and need to) act responsively, we need to act like adults (perhaps even like Christians, lol). The more liberty is extended, the more responsibility we have....


      3. I've been WAY, WAY too active at a bunch of sites like CH for over 12 years .... nearly all start open but increasingly become legalistic, heavy-handed, with powerful staff and endless rules. The reason is NOT because the Admin likes that.... the reason is a FEW posters consistently acted in irresponsible ways and needed to be reigned in. The sites generally devolve into relativistic, legalistic, political places where the only fruitful discussions are about cats and spaghetti. NO ONE wants that here! Most of us are here precisely because we fled that kind of site


      4. The GREAT, OVERWHELMING number of posts here at good. Reports are amazingly few (Staff BLESSEDLY has little to do, thanks to you!). Discussions are sometimes very controversial..... sometimes very passionate..... and this TOO is a reason I LOVE this site! It's not all milktoast.... it's not "Mr. Roger's Neighborhood." The very threads that engage ME are the ones with "meat" and where there is contraversy and passion. CH welcomes this. But these are the discussions where we ALL need to be ESPECIALLY mindful (and let it begin with me)...


      5. There are wonderful things about "social media" and discussion forums..... but there are negatives, too. The anonymity means that sometimes people treat others in ways they'd NEVER do if this were among "real" people, talking "face-to-face." I think of sites like CH much like a church; like discussion happening after the worship service in the fellowship hall with coffee and a cookie. But while such discussions can include disagreements and even passion, they are apt to be polite - because the persons are known and there's a certain social grace that is in effect as we talk face-to-face. That can disappear when we go online. And that can be problematic. I think we ALL need to remember these posters are PEOPLE. Often fellow Christians for whom Christ died and with whom we'll be spending eternity in Heaven..... Perhaps we should not type here anything we would not say face-to-face with someone at church. Again, I need to remember that, too! I ain't claiming any sainthood here!


      6. Lamm shared some examples of "flaming" (shared above). We all need to review that. Often, that IS the problem! We need to remember to address the POST not the POSTER, we can disagree with a POST (even passionately!) but not attack the POSTER. A post can be wrong.... but that doesn't mean the poster ergo is stupid or ignorant or mindless or pagan or closed-minded or going to hell. The problem - 9 times out of 10 - is not positions posters take, but the attacks they make.


      7. I also think some responsibility lies with the READER. No one forces any to be offended or hurt or angered. We can choose to apply some forgiveness.... we can choose to determine that this poster is just frustrated or passionate (especially if it's not typical). Forgiveness is a virtue. It may well be nothing attacking was actually intended.... and even if it was, well, Jesus forgave those who were crucifying Him (quite intentionally, quite without repentance). We can choose to be offended.... we can choose to not be.


      8. I tend to approach all this very academically; I see theology as a human, mental effort to wrap our puny brains around the Mysteries of God - and while I think it's very important, I do see it largely as academic. BUT (and this is important)..... we are NOT discussing pure theory. Most here are Christians - with a powerful, intimate faith that is VERY important to them!!!! This is not dislike discussing each other's girlfriends or spouses - hey, you can challenge my fave brand of beer but when you start to speak negatively of my wife - I"M IN YOUR FACE! I mean that as humor but you get my point.... Faith is often the most precious things in a person's life..... YOU may be discussing this very academically.... your partner may not be. But here's my counsel: If the discussion makes you uncomfortable.... if the discussion feels threatening..... LEAVE THE DISCUSSION. Just leave. It's not hard. No one is forcing anyone to have a discussion that is upsetting. There are HUNDREDS of threads at CH, go to one that isn't upsetting for you. If you CHOOSE to engage in a discussion that is upsetting to you, YOU bear the responsibility for the upset.


      9. I think we have the best community of posters anywhere! There's diversity.... there's passion.... there are lots here who are informed and articulate! I LOVE reading viewpoints I've never heard before..... I LOVE when others I respect thoughtfully consider my post - and approve, but I love it even more when they read a post of mine and give me another pov or who supply some information I simply didn't know or even correct me. IF I wanted to just get an "AMEN" to everything I say because it's the "standard line" I'd post at one of the many Lutheran discussion forums - but I NEVER do. I want to learn and grow. And I'm thankful to the many here who help me do that.


      And let it begin with ME..... there's only ONE whose behavior I can change. The same is true for us all.



      YOUR thoughts?



      Pax Christi



      - Josiah





      .
      Last edited by Josiah; 11-13-2017 at 12:22 PM.
      We are justified by works - just not our own.

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    3. #2
      Snerfle is offline Veteran Member
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      [QUOTE]YOUR thoughts?[/QUOTE]
      Phooey!

      ��THATS A JOKE! Just a joke. (The 'phooey', I mean, not the OP) ��

      Seriously, I agree with most of what was said in the OP.
      There may be one place where some of us are at a disadvantage.

      Some folks have been on computers a long time, and know how to manipulate and crop texts and force things to appear as tho someone said or implied something that they didnt.
      What if they then report that cropped post?

      Then in frustration over something, a person may reply in defense of themselves, and the next thing you know, theyre being 'reported', again, (oy!) possibly on a manipulated text, or a misunderstanding. Is there any way to ensure that wont happen?
      Ppl with savvy computer knowledge and a mean streak or a bone to pick might have all kinds of nasty tricks they pull, who knows, am I right?

      I personally dont play the ignore/report game, but I've known others who seemed to live for it in other places, and in the past, I've found out the hard way that ppl had been reporting posts of mine, most of which were totally unbeknownst to me. Also unknown was the full post in context each time so I could see what the issue was and discuss it with everyone involved, nip it in the bud, so to speak.

      I realize that the Admins are really busy, (yet they still do a good job), but it's probably not possible for them to address every single 'report' that way each time.

      But is there a way to find out if someone is going behind your back with reports/complaints, and see exactly what the post was they reported, instead of having them unknowingly accumulate? And then if the person DOES have a bad day and posts something they shouldnt have, and maybe even regret, they can try to rectify the situation, without finding out SURPRISE theres a whole bunch of other reports piled up on them to compound the situation or make the reported one appear like some horrible person?

      I think of whats often done in politics, and it can happen in both directions.
      A candidate or office-holder gets accused 15 different times of some thing or other.
      Eventually ppl may start to believe the accusations, even if every time theyve been proven false. The arguement only stands on 'Yeah, but, you've been ACCUSED 15 times ... SO, Something must be wrong!'.

      On the other hand, if each accusation is not looked at individually, ppl may eventually get to thinking 'Why bother? It wont be true anyway', and the door is opened for the politician to get away with real crimes, figuring nobody will look or believe it anyway.

      Addressing each situation openly and resolving it may help greatly to avoid those problems, and may also keep ppl from teaming up to bully, or get 'report happy'.
      I'm wondering if there's a practical way to notify someone, like,
      "You're post # ____ ,
      In thread Titled _____ ,
      Was reported by _____ member ,
      On Date/Time ,
      And this→_____ was their complaint.
      Here is the full post→ ____ and the portion hi-lited that was reported.
      We wanted to inform you of this complaint filed against you,
      and let you know we're looking into this matter." Ty

      Then, if it's legitamate, it can be dealt with properly, depending on the violation.
      If it turns out to be a false accusation or manipulation, perhaps that could be kept
      on file for a time, to see if there's a pattern of excessive reporting, dishonesty, or bullying.

      Just my thoughts on that aspect...and as I said, I agree with the content of the OP and thought it was well-presented. ��

      *Edit/Add on ...
      *The first example given IN THE OP IN RED might not necessarily be flaming, it might just be an honest statement of fact, and even a comment made after an admission of such by someone in an earlier post. I'd have to see the context/full post/reason why someone made that statement before I could say for certain that it was an intent to harm or put down another member.*

      Another add on edit...Dunno why the smilies came up as question marks
      Last edited by Snerfle; 11-13-2017 at 01:33 PM. Reason: Added additional content
      ~Deliberate ignorance
      is anti-christian~

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    5. #3
      jsimms435's Avatar
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      I think the thing to remember is that if you feel yourself getting upset or angry to walk away from the computer and come back to it. The internet isn't going to explode if you don't answer right away. The great thing about the forums is you can think through your answer on your time and nobody is standing in front of you waiting for an answer.

      I would agree with you that the great majority of posts on here are done in the right way and the right spirit.

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    7. #4
      Josiah's Avatar
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      @Snerfle


      Thanks for the reply (and for "mostly" agreeing, lol)....


      I don't want this thread to be about Reports and the arbitration of that..... but I will comment that little gets reported (says a LOT about our posters!) and that EVERY Report gets addressed - at some length, usually by everyone on staff. And the CONTEXT of the reported post is always taken under consideration. NO staff is infallible, but also there is a LONG chain of protocol so that RARELY does one post - no matter how much it violates the rules - result in a ban (or even a warning) - built into the system is the realization that staff can err (as well as a generous portion of grace). I won't say more (If Tango or Lamm or Romanos want to, that's up to them). I don't want this sidetracked into staff stuff (we have a forum for that).


      As for your other point, yes (and glad you brought it up): not everyone comes to the table with equal skills. Some here don't have English as their primary language. Some (including me) are sppeling chalanged. Some (me included) are a bit "internet challenged" in that they may not know some "posting skills" that others know (for example, I did a "mention" to you here) - if there's some skill you don't know, ask the staff or poster who clearly knows the skill (people are helpful here). It's also true that some here (quite a lot here!) are pretty skilled in theological terms and concepts (we have some well trained laity here and at least one ordained, seminary trained poster here) and often terminology (even Latin ones) are found. If you don't know what they mean, again, ask. Just asking may be contributing a lot to the discussion because often people either don't know or maybe the term can be meant in several ways.

      I'm thankful you brought up that point.... yes, we need to be aware of that, too.


      Thanks!


      - Josiah
      We are justified by works - just not our own.

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    9. #5
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      Quote Originally Posted by Josiah View Post
      <snip>

      As for your other point, yes (and glad you brought it up): not everyone comes to the table with equal skills. Some here don't have English as their primary language. Some (including me) are sppeling chalanged. Some (me included) are a bit "internet challenged" in that they may not know some "posting skills" that others know (for example, I did a "mention" to you here) - if there's some skill you don't know, ask the staff or poster who clearly knows the skill (people are helpful here). It's also true that some here (quite a lot here!) are pretty skilled in theological terms and concepts (we have some well trained laity here and at least one ordained, seminary trained poster here) and often terminology (even Latin ones) are found. If you don't know what they mean, again, ask. Just asking may be contributing a lot to the discussion because often people either don't know or maybe the term can be meant in several ways.

      I'm thankful you brought up that point.... yes, we need to be aware of that, too.


      Thanks!


      - Josiah
      Okay I admit it you know my shoe size cause it sure fits Lol!

      Seriously English is my wife's second language but she is a better English speller than I am

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    11. #6
      Lämmchen's Avatar
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      Quote Originally Posted by Josiah View Post
      6. Lamm shared some examples of "flaming" (shared above). We all need to review that. Often, that IS the problem! We need to remember to address the POST not the POSTER, we can disagree with a POST (even passionately!) but not attack the POSTER. A post can be wrong.... but that doesn't mean the poster ergo is stupid or ignorant or mindless or pagan or closed-minded or going to hell. The problem - 9 times out of 10 - is not positions posters take, but the attacks they make.
      The majority of our reports deal with posts that make things too personal or outright flame. If you're only addressing the post and not the person behind it then you'll have an easier time on this site.
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus

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    13. #7
      Snerfle is offline Veteran Member
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      Hi Josiah

      Yes, and thx for addressing that.
      I didnt want to sidetrack it either, but I was referencing 'reporting' bc of the points about flaming, and although there are certain rules (necessarily so) there can also be a certain amount of assumption of intent when it comes to 'flaming' that can be rather subjective, thats why I was asking about a way to have the person being reported or accused of flaming be shown the exact post in context, and be able to deal with it asap, rather than have complaints accumulate in the filebox, unbeknownst to the accused.

      But fortunately, as you said, it's a rarity here, and even as heated as things may get on occasion, I dont believe anyone here has any deliberate personal intent or agenda to harm or injure another here in any way.
      Thats certainly not my M O , and if anyone thinks it is, I would rather have them tell me and we could get it cleared up right away, then to have some sort of retaliation occur over a misjudgement.

      'Posting skills', 'English or Latin', even 'seminary skills' in open discussion are not a problem at all, imo ...
      I was more referring to the 'behind-the-scenes kind of skills' that some folks that know computers have, that unfortunately, some ppl out in this wonderful world of ours, use to their own advantage at the expense of others.
      It was more a big IF of speculation, not an accusation here. I'll say sorry and nm.

      Being christians, we already know there's a bullseye on us anyway,
      and this being the internet and a public forum with lots of anonymous guests,
      well...you know.....Alas, it's still a fallen world we live in.
      But praise God for the victory in Jesus, heaven is our real home. GBU.

      Btw, speaking of Latin and English, etc......
      didnt you get the memo from Imalive ?
      Speaking in tongues is actually a secret Dutch language,
      and shes working hard to pass a law
      that everyone here must speak it (or she unsaves them).
      I think her new slogan is:
      "Dutch Tongues...Learn or Burn"


      (she knows I kid. but just in case ... )
      ~Deliberate ignorance
      is anti-christian~

    14. #8
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      Quote Originally Posted by Josiah View Post
      YOUR thoughts?
      Your post was long
      Pope Gregory I was well known for his alms to the poor, and he gave quite generously of the riches donated to the Church by the wealthy people of Rome. Everything from money to land was given to the poor in some fashion. He made clear to his subordinates that their duty was to relieve the distress faced by the poor.

      He ordered his clergy to go out into the streets to find and care for the poor in person.

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      Quote Originally Posted by MoreCoffee View Post
      Your post was long
      Yeah, that ↑ too.
      ~Deliberate ignorance
      is anti-christian~

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      Lämmchen's Avatar
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      I'm seeing a lot of these kinds of posts lately and they are not acceptable...

      If you believe ____ then you're a bladybladyblah (word changed to protect the innocent).
      "Christianity does not require more work but more trust." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "Bearing fruit does not make you a branch. A branch is a branch because it grows from the vine." Pr. Jonathan Fisk
      "A Christian's life is not defined by what the Christian does. It is defined by Christ and what He has done for us." Pr. Rolf David Preus

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