Drunk driver

NewCreation435 · Nov 2, 2017

When I was a chaplain in a large hospital in Raleigh back in 2006 a guy came in one night to the trauma room having had an accident and hit a tree with his car while drunk driving. His whole family showed up in the emergency room waiting area and i sat with them for a while. I remember the father saying "He can't drive well even when he is sober." and that is all he said. The mother sat there and cried the whole time. The sister made excuses for his behavior and said that everyone does it and made excuses for him. From what the daughter said it sounded like the mom had an alcohol problem also.

The guy himself hit on a nurse as they were bringing him into the trauma room. He wasn't seriously hurt, but had a gash on his forehead that would require stitches. He was still drunk at the time and there was an officer waiting to talk to him outside of his ER bay room when the doctors were done with him. With this guy drunk and the family upset, what would you say or do to try and help them? I found myself at a loss since I didn't have much training at the time in substance abuse

Asuk · Nov 2, 2017

Ephesians 5:18

And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit

Albion · Nov 2, 2017

jsimms435 said:
When I was a chaplain in a large hospital in Raleigh back in 2006 a guy came in one night to the trauma room having had an accident and hit a tree with his car while drunk driving. His whole family showed up in the emergency room waiting area and i sat with them for a while. I remember the father saying "He can't drive well even when he is sober." and that is all he said. The mother sat there and cried the whole time. The sister made excuses for his behavior and said that everyone does it and made excuses for him. From what the daughter said it sounded like the mom had an alcohol problem also.

The guy himself hit on a nurse as they were bringing him into the trauma room. He wasn't seriously hurt, but had a gash on his forehead that would require stitches. He was still drunk at the time and there was an officer waiting to talk to him outside of his ER bay room when the doctors were done with him. With this guy drunk and the family upset, what would you say or do to try and help them? I found myself at a loss since I didn't have much training at the time in substance abuse

I can imagine that so many thoughts crossed your mind--given all the different elements that are part of that scene-- that it was hard to know where to start.

NewCreation435 · Nov 3, 2017

Albion said:
I can imagine that so many thoughts crossed your mind--given all the different elements that are part of that scene-- that it was hard to know where to start.

With the families I serve that feeling happens often. So many directions you could go.

Lamb · Nov 3, 2017

What could you possibly say to a man who is drunk who might not listen or understand and also might not even remember the incident in the morning? I would address the family as a unit and not singling out anyone. I would point out how God protected that man and that it was God's will that no one was killed that evening. Addictions are difficult to live with and God had given that man another day to live and that there are places the man could go to to seek help for recovery. God is merciful and forgiving.

NewCreation435 · Nov 3, 2017

Lämmchen said:
What could you possibly say to a man who is drunk who might not listen or understand and also might not even remember the incident in the morning? I would address the family as a unit and not singling out anyone. I would point out how God protected that man and that it was God's will that no one was killed that evening. Addictions are difficult to live with and God had given that man another day to live and that there are places the man could go to to seek help for recovery. God is merciful and forgiving.

What I have learned in the last 11 years since then is that there is no point talking to the man who was drunk. He is not in a place where he could hear it and your simply wasting your time. From my readings there is something called "raising the bottom" that a person can do. Because a lot of addicts don't look up and feel the need to change until they hit bottom. Sometimes enablers like this mans sister and mother bail the person out of trouble and by doing so they don't allow the person to fully experience the consequences of their actions. They continue to lower the bottom so the person doesn't fully experience the consequences.
As hard as it sounds, you have to allow the person to hit bottom, fully experience the legal and bad consequences of their actions and to come to the point where they want to change. That is hard to do when you truly love someone. It is a tough love

Imalive · Nov 3, 2017

Tell the family to not give him car keys?
Didn't they take his drivers license? My brother used to go out on saturday and drink a few glasses of wine and then drive back. He's really lucky, he almost lost his drivers license. Then he just stopped going out w that person, so he wouldn't drink. He can't say no. He threw his phone away too.

NewCreation435 · Nov 3, 2017

Imalive said:
Tell the family to not give him car keys?
Didn't they take his drivers license? My brother used to go out on saturday and drink a few glasses of wine and then drive back. He's really lucky, he almost lost his drivers license. Then he just stopped going out w that person, so he wouldn't drink. He can't say no. He threw his phone away too.

I'm not sure of the outcome as far as his license went. As a hospital chaplain you only have contact with the family for a short period of time.

Imalive · Nov 3, 2017

jsimms435 said:
I'm not sure of the outcome as far as his license went. As a hospital chaplain you only have contact with the family for a short period of time.

I told the alcoholics in the mental hospital there was something better than alcohol. Get to know Jesus and get filled in the Holy Spirit.

Ruth · Nov 26, 2017

I would not say a thing and think it is not for me to say anything to him. The police were going to be in charge of him and I'm sure they were going to read him the riot act.

Stravinsk · Nov 26, 2017

jsimms435 said:
When I was a chaplain in a large hospital in Raleigh back in 2006 a guy came in one night to the trauma room having had an accident and hit a tree with his car while drunk driving. His whole family showed up in the emergency room waiting area and i sat with them for a while. I remember the father saying "He can't drive well even when he is sober." and that is all he said. The mother sat there and cried the whole time. The sister made excuses for his behavior and said that everyone does it and made excuses for him. From what the daughter said it sounded like the mom had an alcohol problem also.

The guy himself hit on a nurse as they were bringing him into the trauma room. He wasn't seriously hurt, but had a gash on his forehead that would require stitches. He was still drunk at the time and there was an officer waiting to talk to him outside of his ER bay room when the doctors were done with him. With this guy drunk and the family upset, what would you say or do to try and help them? I found myself at a loss since I didn't have much training at the time in substance abuse

I suppose if I had the wit and courage about me at the time I might have said something like:

"You are lucky, sir, that you only hit a tree. You could have killed someone and be facing some serious guilt and a long jail sentence. Are you ready for that? You could have killed yourself and be facing your Creator to give account for your life, are you ready for that?"

NewCreation435 · Nov 26, 2017

Stravinsk said:
I suppose if I had the wit and courage about me at the time I might have said something like:

"You are lucky, sir, that you only hit a tree. You could have killed someone and be facing some serious guilt and a long jail sentence. Are you ready for that? You could have killed yourself and be facing your Creator to give account for your life, are you ready for that?"

I believe I did say something. I can't remember what it was. it has been 11 years since then. I know an officer was outside of his emergency room bay waiting to talk to him when I last saw him. Without a doubt he was in trouble.

Drunk driver

NewCreation435

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Asuk

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Albion

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Lamb

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Stravinsk

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